I coulda been a Blue Barracuda.
As a faithful Nickelodeon child of the early ’90s, I had affordable goals: meet Jim Carrey, learn the entire Narnia books, and someday seem on Nick’s Legends of the Hidden Temple. The means some youngsters picked up soccer maneuvers from hours of Sunday NFL video games, I had a method for each opening moat problem from the action-adventure sport present, and exact plan on the best way to conquer the Temple Run, for once I inevitably made it to the ultimate stage. I’d not be bested by the Shrine of the Silver Monkey and it’s wonky foam puzzle!
I by no means got here shut to creating it on Legend of the Hidden Temple, in all probability as a result of my parents by no means utilized for me to be on Legend of the Hidden Temple. (Note: I additionally by no means met Jim Carrey, however I did get wrecked by The Last Battle.) For years I believed I used to be over it, even when Quibi announced a reboot.
Then I watched the primary two episodes of Star Wars: Jedi Temple Challenge. I spent each second of it seething and shrieking with pleasure.
Hosted by Ahmed Best, who swaps CG Jar Jar pores and skin for a becoming Jedi gown, the brand new YouTube sequence is an unabashed, carbon(ite) copy of Legend of the Hidden Temple. In the model set in a galaxy far, distant, three groups of two tweens compete in a set of bodily and psychological challenges in hopes of changing into Jedi Knights. The losers grasp their heads in disgrace and sulk again to the Jedi temple for extra learnings. The winners get their very own customized lightsabers to wave round like a-holes — it’s jubilant.
Best, as Jedi Kelleran Beq is joined by droid AD-3 and the astromech LX-R5 to supervise the coaching, which is damaged into three Hidden Temple-y segments. In half one, the three groups compete to assemble their lightsaber hilts by overcoming 4 obstacles:
- The “Power Pull,” a wobbly power rope course that sends unbalanced youngsters falling on their faces
- The “Swing of Strength,” a check of Tarzan may, form recognition, and screaming instructions to a good friend
- The “Leap & Lift,” during which gamers leap on a trampoline to seize some low-hanging Meiloorun fruits and in addition to have enjoyable as a result of trampolines are a blast
- The “Staber Stability,” a balance-beam course during which contestants
wield coaching lightsabersslap floating balls with a bamboo stick
The course is smaller than Hidden Temple’s moat course, undercutting the momentum and physicality of the challenges, however the youngsters’ hustle — mixed with Best’s commentary — makes it really feel like a dream come true. Even greater than visiting Galaxy’s Edge, that is dwelling Star Wars.
Part two of every episode is, once more, identical to Hidden Temple. Instead of Olmec telling an historical story of morality, AD-3 recounts a narrative from across the universe with loads of particulars the contestants should recall for our amusement. This is the place the Star Warsification of the format bests the unique: To suss out the solutions, one teammate is in a pilot’s seat whereas the opposite is working in engineer mode. The units and lighting deliver the fictional backdrop to life, and the duty at hand is totally pressurized.
Headsets enable contestants to whisper solutions to at least one one other however timing is every part! WHAT WAS THE COLOR OF THE SPACE CLAY?!? Best calls for solutions with probably the most enunciated supply of any Jedi in historical past. The youngsters sweat like their lives are on the road, and in hologram confessionals, the shedding pairs lament their losses. “It’s a good memory that I’m going to look back at when I’m older,” says one woman who didn’t get to hold a Holocron into the unknown of the ultimate problem. What a scream.
The remaining set piece brings the successful pair to the final word problem: a sequence of puzzles unfold throughout Star Wars impressed rooms. “Make your way up the Summit Scramble to the Galaxy Globe!” Best shouts on the prime of the race. Yes. Absolutely.
Competing towards the countdown clock, padawans should full a Simon-like colour sample problem, a glyph puzzle scattered throughout two completely different divided rooms, one other matching sport impressed by the trash compactor from the 1977 film, an uphill ice climb that seemed very powerful for the nerdier youngsters, and a light-bridge sequence sport straight out of Empire Strikes Back. All the whereas the children are being tempted by voices from the Dark Side: Should they get cheat code to advance quicker via one puzzle even when it means a later problem might be harder? Some make the fitting solutions, some don’t, and also you simply know those who had been like “Sign me up, Darth Sidious!” are getting a speaking to afterward.
One of the very best a part of Star Wars: Jedi Temple Challenge, and one other factor the sequence has in widespread with Hidden Temple, is that successful isn’t a certain factor. In one episode, the crew that goes to the ultimate spherical does not reach crossing the end line within the required time, and it’s crushing. This was the one time these youngsters will get to dwell the Jedi life in Star Wars Land. That’s a life lesson that isn’t missed on the writers of the sequence. “Young padawans,” the voice of Yoda says over a loudspeaker, “there will always be trials.”
Except not these ones! This sucks! Give these youngsters a lightsaber!
Deep breaths. Master Yoda is true. Just as a result of youngsters didn’t prevail on Jedi Temple Challenge doesn’t imply they’ll fall quick within the steeper climbs of actual life. But it does imply that, sooner or later of their 30s, they could watch a brand new technology compete in an journey sport present and scream bloody homicide on the young children who can’t hear their recommendation on the best way to successfully bounce on a trampoline. That’s acceptable.
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